I want to be free.


screw it, I'm taking them.

well...

that certainly sucks!

or at least it did until you made a 'psst' sound and motioned me to sit by you.
Ditching class to have a conversation with you was a good idea, although, I did kind of want to talk to him, too. Well, he saw me smile at him, and he returned the smile. Thursday I will see both of you and it will be nice.

Currently:

- my internet does not work on my computer, so doing research essays is a bit more difficult for me. that is pretty frustrating, I will admit.

- I have been having weird dreams, such as dreams involving zombies, and then having the same dream again, but more lucid, yet I still cannot stop the inevitable zombie invasion. I also had a dream I was being raped by a dirty cop. Not physically dirty, but you know.

- I have been feeling sick. My tummy feels weird a lot more.

- I also have been day dreaming. Good day dreams.

- I think I am going to take a semester off. It is getting stressful, but that could also be because it is coming up to Finals.

- I have been feeling really low, but I am not letting that get to me too much. I just don't feel motivated or smart anymore. I know why, too, and I am trying to fix it. Kind of.


This is a dumb entry, but I hope you talk to me again tomorrow because I think you are really handsome.

Talk In Circles

oh yeah, I made that bread. I really like my job.

Now tonight's question: Is it possible to write 4 papers before class tomorrow morning?

Our Endless Numbered Days

I'm never going to change, you're right.

You make me want to cry sometimes because of the way you say things, but I would never tell you that, sorry.

I'm going to go alone because no one seems to be able to get it.

I don't even know why I am wasting my time writing this.

EDIT

How melodramatic do I sound? I need to get into an art class soon, and I am considering taking that ceramics class. I used to feel more creative, but I do not know where all of that feeling disappeared to. Hopefully, I can regain at least a fraction of it, and put some energy into research and compassion, since I feel a lack of it lately. I do miss when I would sleep less, and write more.

I sort of want to try writing a series of short stories, although, I am not sure whether or not I would get it published or if I would just keep it to myself... you know, for when I am old and senile. My husband will bring it out to me when I am telling him how goddamn lazy I was when I was younger.

What am I even talking about? Maybe I do need to get some sleep... well, sleep and a soy-coffee-banana-iced smoothie. If only you knew. I'll make it for you one day, if you ask.

EDIT

I said I needed to have it, so I got it. I am excited.

Shrink

Building Nothing Out Of Something

In Our Nature

Class was cancelled, so I am going to be spontanious and get my hair cut in an hour when the place opens.

I'm nervous...


Got it, and it is maybe 6 inches shorter. word.

currently into:

http://www.kurthalsey.com/work.html

http://www.thisnext.com/media/230x230/Glaceau-Smartwater_77CDFCCE.jpg

http://laist.com/attachments/la_joshua/boinivercover.jpg

http://www.basementclothing.ca/lemon_face.jpg

and of course, the livejournal postsecret and askaquestion communities.

Not that I am ashamed

But I just don't think I want to use this anymore either. Maybe I am just feeling like shit today, or maybe I am just fully sick of the lack of compassion, vitality, originality, propriety, individuality, and intelligence I have been displaying.

I feel as though I have nothing to offer anymore, not that I really did anyway.

I need to go develop my film, finish my drawing, run, and finish Prozac Nation.

whatever.