I find myself at a loss for words often.
I had a dream where Krystal was in her old uniform, counting money, talking, but I couldn't hear anything. She was smiling and turning away, like she did this one night I went in in Corona. Her hands were moving, each bill being accounted for... I couldn't breathe. I reached out.
It will come, hopefully.
I too, wanted to call. I wanted to say something... anything... but, I don't want to cross that line. It's tearing me from what I should and what I want to do.
Saying I'm sorry for the death doesn't help. But a hug might. I don't know. fuck.
Focus on sounds, smells, tastes, touches, when I am feeling the feeling. But the smells of her come in from no where. I had another dream I was wearing her shirt. I almost packed one.
I kind of think the 'dream Krystal' travels and jumps into my dreams after I have a nightmare, just to help me sleep.
The talk with Kelly last night was awesome. I think there will be more talks like that.
The songs that randomly come on... I wonder if you hear them, too.
This is just hard.
Don't give up.
