Flaunting my sexual orientation at other's expenses isn't really something I like... in fact, it annoys me Miss... stop doing that. You won't, but stop. There is a lot of bullshit going on in that department and it really makes me want to scream. I don't care if people know, but when you tell them to say, "yeah, you think she's good looking but she is GAY, HAHAHAHAHAHA sucks for you!!!!"... that is fucking stupid.
Going to the bar last night was NOT my idea of fun, either. Drunk men acting like idiots... it made me miss nights at home with you.
The fist fights outside also did not make me feel very safe. Dislike that for sure.
I'm glad I am at Kelly's because she is laid back and a homebody... my cousin on the other hand, I am pretty pleased I will not be around that as much. I'm not a prude, I just don't see the point in getting blitz'd and being in dangerous situations... maybe that is just me. Hearing a man say to his girlfriend, "Do you want me to fuck you up?!"... yeah, no. The elder of the cousins at least looks out for me, or asks if I want to leave because getting eye fucked is uncomfortable.
Catherine and James both mentioned coming out here to keep me company... very sweet ideas, but this is something I have to do. Be alone at least for these 6 weeks. James is coming out though for Missy's huge birthday bash... just for 3 days. But still, this is something I have to do. Figure out myself. I am, as the days go by... I am starting to like myself again, there are parts of me that I miss though...
You always look great. I can picture it. Smiles.
I'm glad it went nice, sorry that your sister was not as mature as she could have been.
Keep fighting, keep your head up. You are strong, I mean it. The nightmares will hopefully go away, I wonder if I make appearances in your thoughts...
I had a dream last night and you told me about your nightmares. I really wonder...
Believe me, I can't help but...
What is the weather like there? I wonder. I miss the babies. I have pictures on my phone, but I miss them. I am glad I brought Ally McBeal, it helps when I am up 'til 3 AM...
I cook sometimes. I do the dishes.
You creep your way into my thoughts without even making a sound...
I hope you're feeling better today. 2 more days, you'll do great.
That line... fucking line. I'm putting it in your hands. 2 weeks. I've been here 1 week so far. It feels like forever.
When I got here, I weighed 120 pounds... my goal is to gain 5 and exercise. I can do it. I can do this. It is getting easier. At least this part is.
Good God, my dad is talking to me about... stuff... so weird.
I wonder if it came yet... I had 'thoughts' the other night, they were good. I went for an hour long Motorcycle ride with my uncle... you don't have to wear helmets out here.
Which do you do more often, smile, or not?
T-storms are supposed to be going on this week.
I have fears, bad thoughts, things that haunt me, worries, all of that stuff. I try not to think about them, but they are still there. I can't help it. Your touch helps with the nightmares.
I had my #1 haunting nightmare and it fucking scares me just thinking about it. I wrote about it. I don't know if or when I could give you the book. It has good/bad/scared/happy/sad/dirty... ahh all kinds...
18 units. no job. Pearl Jam? I'm a weirdo. I'll say it again, if wishes were dimes...
miss...
you look good... always.... yes... you look really good...
